Perception - Age - Taking Time

[Engtovo]

I can relate to feeling like everyone else knows what they are doing.  I often feel completely separated from what other people are doing in the world.  At 45 I have no kids and yet at 20 I thought I would get married early and have a house full of kids.  It really doesn't seem like much time has even passed.  When I look at other people my age I don't relate to much about them and they all seem much "older" then me in many ways.  My sister is seven years older than me and a grandmother and for several years now she says things that I don't relate to that give the impression that anything worthwhile in life is over for her.  Like she couldn't go back to school, or travel, or change jobs, or fall in love.  I think I can still pursue anything I want and there is no time barrier so I just don't relate to any of that at all.  It's like she lives in a different world than I do or something.  I look around now and think that I am glad I didn't fill this time with a bunch of kids because I would have been raising them to be limited with what I knew then, and why does the world need more limited people?  I really don't think most people take any time to consider if they want kids or not.  I always did but at this point I would rather ascend and then when I had kids they would naturally ascend without having to do all this work we have to do.  For them it would be like learning to walk or talk just automatic.  My nephew now has two kids, two different mothers at the age of 24 and is clueless.  I spend years trying to teach him to be conscious of his choices and the consequences and the long term effects and yet there he is raising two kids when he doesn't know who he himself is.  So taking the time to find you own way no matter how long it takes is not crazy at all.  To me it’s the only rational way to live